Monday, June 14, 2010- Zanzibar day 21

Monday was the best day I've had here so far.

We woke up around 7 and did the normal breakfast and preparation for class thing. I had my post migraine scramble to make a poster that I needed for class and then we walked in the hot hot sun Michamvi for our last day with our standard 4 10-12 year olds. I was pretty bummed because they are the cutest kids in the world but the class went by easily and we played some games and had a good time with them getting photos and hugs when we left.

We walked back home and once again there was not enough food for everyone so I stuck with my crackers and nutella and ordered a coke to wash it down. Obviously I am going to be suuuuper healthy when I get home. Alivianna and David and I sat around and chatted until everyone was done with their food and the entire program group gathered in a circle to talk about the program and our last week in the village. Jessica asked us to each talk about what the most important thing we've learned so far was, and it really got me thinking hard. I realized although this program hasn't exactly been what I expected, it's taught me more than I could have ever thought about before. The first couple people brought up the obvious "I didn't think Id be able to not eat American food" kind of things that are true for everyone but not as life changing as some of the things I thought about.

David then talked about how upset he was that we hardly think about the kids or the communities outside of our teachings and how he himself and all of us never really got that connection to the village. He talked about how he wishes he could just do something or give something to them to change their poverty status and inevitably change their lives, but we just can't. Even giving them a little money or some candy is not going to change their lives.

I immediately thought about how upset I was that the program is over in a couple days. As much as I am yearning to go home and be in my bed without a mosquito net and to eat the things I want when I want them and to hug and kiss my boyfriend in person and to do the same to lis ;) none of that matters when I think of these children that walk on the beach picking shells and fishing for food or their families instead of playing and learning and being a kid. I have never wanted to make an impact more than when I see kids in my classroom not wearing shoes because they can't afford them and must wear a uniform and walk to and from school on the hot cement with no protection. Sure, shoes can always be given and money can be transferred but what really counts is this question: how can we get the entire village to lift it's head above the sinking water of poverty and despair and be able to live in an apartment like mine, or to have a laundry facility like the orphanage does on site, or to allow the children to go play and be kids instead of learning to cook and clean and take care of infants!? The answer is something I thought I'd come up with while I was here like it's so easy to figure out. Obviously there are so many things that weigh that down.

The governments corruption and devotion to strict religious affiliation often tears down the availability of social progress (for instance, we aren't allowed to teach about condoms in schools), the lack of real farm land for cash crops makes it hard to facilitate income other than tourism and when they are not in a tourist season, Zanzibar struggles to attain any kind of cash flow. Not to mention the fact that not being educated about the repercussions that come with having money and what things to look out for and to protect themselves from is not happening here.

Lily was upset about this too and we talked about how we all have so much more than the people who are here, yet people in general in the US do not want to give any of it to anyone else. It's completely false to think that this mentality is anything new, nor is it anything about just Americans thoughts and actions. The wealthiest families in Tanzania practice the same kinds of neglect of their roots when a little cash is thrown their way. Many of the Arusha people are staying in home stays with incredibly poor families but a few have the wealthiest families in the whole village and they found that the wealthier families are less willing to give of anything; food, warmth, love.... And the poorest families give all they have. That's incredibly shocking to me. Id love to know why that is. I have yet to figure that out.

When it was my turn I said I was mad at myself for not trying to establish a better connection with the village. I mean I had gone to Arusha for 3 days and knew every kids name in the house but I lived in Zanzibar for 3 weeks and don't know one. It makes me sad that I spent a majority of the time thinking about myself and not taking the time to better the situation of another persons life, although I forget that teaching the curriculum of HIV and AIDS awareness is really a great way to start.

Jessica said something that really affected me: " this is going to sound hokey but we really can't give them anything tangible except the love we have for them. Anything else we could ever give them was given to us from someone else, but only love is something you can give to them that no one else can."

That statement is not only true for here in Zanzibar but also in my life as a whole. Money, food, clothes, candy.... All of that you get from somewhere else. There's nothing in the world as pure and original as the gift of your own love to someone.

That was our focus for the afternoon. We'd finished teaching but decided to go to pingwe to have some fun arts and crafts time with the kids. I had a lot of paper and fun things to donate and David had some markers so all of us headed to the village where no children were around. We spread the word to a couple and all the sudden we were swarmed with children on every side wanting to draw and color and play an dance with us. We didn't have enough pens because so many kids came to play but we had a lot of fun with them. We gave them these stickers that I was literally mobbed for but overall everything was fun and something that they never get to do. I hope they think back at the day they got paper just to color with and are excited about the memory someday.

I just noticed that while typing on the iPhone some of my grammar and spelling gets changed without my conscious knowledge so I'm sorry if things are spelled wrong. I'll change it all when I get to my computer.

Anyway. I learned my first child's name in the village. Salama is a 10 year old girl from my michamvi school standard 4 class who has the brightest smile and calls me Shannonii. While we were drawing she drew a flower that said "I love you shannonii" and each of the other people in my group on each petal in english. The girl can hardly speak the language yet she says she loves me. It made my whole trip.